Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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