franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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