Little spoons don't ask big questions
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I just googled if crying burns calories
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
