I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
