that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
