even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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