well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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