so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
