HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
