Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
