oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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