Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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