I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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