Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
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All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
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And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize