Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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