the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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