Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
