Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
