what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
