Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
