you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
