i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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