Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize