i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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