I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
