You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
