Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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