Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
