try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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