clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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