bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
