He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
