I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
