i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
is that a dick in a sweater?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
