I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
