My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
