why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize