when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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