I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
