Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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