New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
