Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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