this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
