I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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