the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
