She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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