Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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