Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
