my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
FUCK WHALES
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
