pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
