There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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