I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
