margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
