glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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