if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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