His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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