Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
