the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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