i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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