I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
