problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
