He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
She needs sedatives and a leash
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
