god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
